I've been sitting here for a while now, knowing I wanted to make a blog post, but not knowing where I wanted to go with it. Did I want an "I'm SO Glad We Made It Alive" theme? How about an "I've Been Here For A Couple of Weeks and I Can't Stop Laughing At All The Engrish Around Here!" mode? Maybe "I Didn't Like Kimchi Then and I Still Don't!"
My computer clock is still on EST, so it says it's 11:51 am on November 4th. So...it's really 00:51 on November 5th. I should fix that.
Anyhow, while I was waiting for some idea to jel, I perused my blog list and read the posts I've been missing these past 6 weeks. I read about exciting news, fun posts of autumn adventures, travels, saw some darling Halloween pictures- and read several very moving posts about appreciating motherhood, cherishing childhood, and building a personal relationship with our Savior. And my half-ideas of silly and funny posts kind of scattered.
I am feeling like I need a big slice of humble pie at the moment. I have been so completely wrapped up in my own stuff that...to be honest... I have been a big fat jerk to my husband and kids these past couple of weeks. I don't know why or how it started exactly, but lately every time they do something that shows that my needs and feelings aren't first in their minds I get angry. I have been irritable, short-tempered, and annoyed. I have been mean, because I felt like nobody gave a crap how tired or worn-out I was, or felt bad for me because I have a cold and still have to move and unpack and be a mommy to my kids. Nobody offered to make me lunch today, and it hurt my feelings.
Luckily, I got the kick in my pants I needed. And I got down on my knees and repented. When my kids and hubby get up in the morning I'll ask them to forgive me- and I am already grateful to them because I know they will. They are wonderful, and I can't believe I let my own selfishness cloud my vision of what sweet blessings they are to me.
I have seen lots of people on FB listing the things they are grateful for in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. I have read them and though it was nice, but not until this moment have I stopped to really think about all I have to be thankful for. There is far too much to list, so I'll limit it to a few for now:
I am grateful for the gospel. I am so thankful for my Savior. I am grateful for my little family- they are so dear to me, and the peace of knowing we can be an eternal family quells all the other little fears that I worry about. I am thankful for a loving Father, who mercifully puts reminders in my path to help me make the course corrections I need. I'm grateful for my testimony, and I know the gospel is true, that Christ lives and is the Son of God.
We have found lots that we love about Korea. Tales and pictures of our travels can wait a few more days, right? I think I'll get a mug of hot chocolate to go with my humble pie.
7 months ago