Monday, August 1, 2011

The Question



Life is full of questions- the big ones, like "Will you marry me?" or "Is it time to add to our family?" There's the little ones too, "Do you want Spagettios or Mac and Cheese?" or, as we are asking right now, "Who colored on the rug?"




The tricky part is how complicated the answers can be sometimes. Our big question right now is simply this- What should we do?



There are several options ahead of us, and we don't have a lot of time to decide. Moreover, once we do decide, there's no going back. The Army doesn't tolerate waffling, for obvious reasons.



There are a million little questions involved in each of the options we choose, too. There are really no easy answers here.



Do we opt for the command sponsored tour and risk not having it approved? That would leave us apart for at least 4-6 months, possibly up to 24. We don't know if we could live on post, we don't know if we could bring Skeeter, and we understand that non-soldier hospital care (i.e. having another baby) is outsourced locally. I feel weird about that.



Do we opt for a hardship tour and just spend the 12 months apart? The kids and I would stay in the US, we would have some additional separation pay each month...but we would be apart for a year! Not to mention, Daddy might be back in the deployment bucket by fall of 2013.



Regardless , we will be apart for some amount of time- what do the kids and I do? Stay in Virginia? Move back to Utah? Move back to Idaho? Just be a nomad and visit everyone I can think of?




Do I try to keep working? Do I retire from nursing for now? Or forever? Can we even afford for me not to work yet?



*sigh*



My parents always taught me that Heavenly Father helps those who help themselves. So instead of waiting around for the answer to fall in my lap, I suppose I better get to work- the more information I can get, the easier it will be to decide, right?




Don't worry. I'm still going to be praying like crazy for the guidance we need, too.



I am thinking a lot of Elder Christofferson's talk from this last conference, and keep hearing the voice of the gardener cutting down the currant bush: "Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be." I think I've had some branches cut back and I'm looking and seeking for how the Gardener would have me grow now.


I have the calming influence of the gospel in my life, so I know without a doubt that everything will turn out as it should (however that may be), and the growing/cutting back pains are only a temporary time.



10 comments:

Mrs. Boojwa said...

Thats a tough one. I usually try to stay with my husband as much as possible, but there's always that thing of not knowing. I always say the most certain thing of life in the military is that life is uncertain. I suppose you ought to just make a decision and pray about it, and hope that its the right one? I think you will for sure know if it is the wrong one.

Patty Ann said...

I think it is a totally personal decision that is between your family and your Heavenly Father. I know that you will find the answer that is best for all of you.

Melissa Durtschi said...

Well...you already know my vote ;) And I know that you know how to get the answers you need...(ie say your prayers, read your scriptures, go to the temple)...So I guess the only advice I would give is to write it all down. Pro's & Con's lists how you feel about each option, what you think each decision would mean, and do it together...Then you would have something to look back on & see your thought process of being where you are. **ribbit ribbit**

Marianne said...

Man, those are some tough questions. You'll probably be able to figure it all out once you know who colored on the rug...

;-)

LOVE YOU!!! Hang in there!

Taylor's said...

You amaze me! Your family amazes me!

I really can't wait to hear your decision! I will pray that whatever the decision it will be the best decision for your family!

Now get busy planning and KNEELING!

Amber said...

This post makes me miss you! Those questions are toughies. But I know you guys will make the right one. =) Good luck!

(And we'd be happy to see you in Rexburg again!)

Karen said...

If you go the nomad route, we'd take you for as long as you want! We've got a guest room and plenty of girls for your kids (and doggie) to play with. Seriously!

Melinda said...

I know we were never super best friends or anything, and I've been a slacker at blog reading, but I really do appreciate your posts. It seems that whenever I need that extra little pick me up, I get a little nudge suggesting to read your blog and I always find it uplifting-and the random skeeter pictures that pop up always make me smile :-) Thanks!

Laura@livingabigstory said...

Beautiful thoughts - thx!

Laura@livingabigstory said...

Had to come back -- your email isn't attached to your profile or I'd email it to you. Anyway, I just read this and wanted to share it. The Lord is so mindful of us:

"No Father would send His children off to a distant, dangerous land for a lifetime of testing where Lucifer was known to roam free without first providing them with a personal power of protection. He would also supply them with means to communicate with Him from Father to child and from child to Father. Every child of our Father sent to earth is provided with the Spirit of Christ, or the Light of Christ (see D&C 84:46). We are, none of us, left here alone without hope of guidance and redemption."

Boyd K. Packer, "Prayer and Promptings," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 43