Life is full of questions- the big ones, like "Will you marry me?" or "Is it time to add to our family?" There's the little ones too, "Do you want Spagettios or Mac and Cheese?" or, as we are asking right now, "Who colored on the rug?"
The tricky part is how complicated the answers can be sometimes. Our big question right now is simply this- What should we do?
There are several options ahead of us, and we don't have a lot of time to decide. Moreover, once we do decide, there's no going back. The Army doesn't tolerate waffling, for obvious reasons.
There are a million little questions involved in each of the options we choose, too. There are really no easy answers here.
Do we opt for the command sponsored tour and risk not having it approved? That would leave us apart for at least 4-6 months, possibly up to 24. We don't know if we could live on post, we don't know if we could bring Skeeter, and we understand that non-soldier hospital care (i.e. having another baby) is outsourced locally. I feel weird about that.
Do we opt for a hardship tour and just spend the 12 months apart? The kids and I would stay in the US, we would have some additional separation pay each month...but we would be apart for a year! Not to mention, Daddy might be back in the deployment bucket by fall of 2013.
Regardless , we will be apart for some amount of time- what do the kids and I do? Stay in Virginia? Move back to Utah? Move back to Idaho? Just be a nomad and visit everyone I can think of?
Do I try to keep working? Do I retire from nursing for now? Or forever? Can we even afford for me not to work yet?
My parents always taught me that Heavenly Father helps those who help themselves. So instead of waiting around for the answer to fall in my lap, I suppose I better get to work- the more information I can get, the easier it will be to decide, right?
Don't worry. I'm still going to be praying like crazy for the guidance we need, too.
I am thinking a lot of Elder Christofferson's talk from this last conference, and keep hearing the voice of the gardener cutting down the currant bush: "Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be." I think I've had some branches cut back and I'm looking and seeking for how the Gardener would have me grow now.
I have the calming influence of the gospel in my life, so I know without a doubt that everything will turn out as it should (however that may be), and the growing/cutting back pains are only a temporary time.